RomanQuest Page 9
What you’re made of is a lot of soft stuff that could get very hurt in the next few minutes. Cassius Brutus Trajan is carrying a +5 sword made from real steel. Your little Mickey Mouse wooden weapon hits at a measly +½. If your cross-eyed opponent kills you inside six combat rounds, go to 13. If you survive for six rounds, or somehow miraculously kill him before then, you can find out what happens at 128.
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104
“Wrong!” exclaims Caligula delightedly. He looks thoughtfully into the middle distance. “First I’ll have you skinned, then strangled, hanged, beheaded, baked, ground up then sprinkled on the sacred flame of Jupiter’s Temple, I think.”
After which painful experience, you can make your way to 13.
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105
The happy sound of childish laughter rings in your ears as you approach this building. Youngsters are playing in the courtyard outside exactly as they might do at a school in your own time. Standing to one side is a tall, grey-bearded man holding a bell.
He glances at the nearby sun-dial and rings the bell. At once the children stop racing about and file obediently back into the building.
The grey-bearded man glances across at you. “Are you coming to join us?” he asks in a thick Greek accent. “You look as if you could do with a bit of education.”
Well, maybe, but unlike your own time, school is definitely not compulsory while you’re adventuring. If you want to join this grey Greek pedagogue, take your place with the youngsters at 88. If not, return to your map at 150 and select another destination.
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106
“Wrong!” exclaims Caligula delightedly. He grins wickedly. “Only kidding. Now, your next question in the Quiz of Death is this: Who was the Emperor who followed Octavian? Was it Augustus? Was it Tiberius? Or - careful now, this may be a trick question - was it me?”
These are getting harder. If you think it was Augustus, turn to 92 If you think it was Tiberius, turn to 84. If you think it was Caligula, turn to 68.
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107
This looks like an overblown cloakroom. If you were feeling posh, you might call it an annex to the main hall, the sort of place where slaves would take your cloak in the winter or wash your feet after a long journey, maybe even hand you a cheering goblet of wine-dark wine.
But there are no slaves here at the moment. Nobody at all in fact. The room is empty.
It’s also only got one door, the one in the eastern wall marked LXXXXVIII.
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108
“Have at you, Monster!” you yell, hurling yourself upon him. “It is my destiny to rid the world of your foul presence, as instructed by the Sibyl and abetted by the great god Jupiter.”
“Assassins!” screams Caligula. “Guards! Aid your Emperor at once!”
At which a crack troop of Praetorian Guards (every one of them a Hun) races into the temple to fall on you like an avalanche.
In the brief instant before your lights go out, you find yourself wondering how you could have forgotten the Emperor was guarded at all times.
Get hold of a good papyrus text on memory training (I can recommend Memory by Herbie Brennan, published by Scholastic, London, 1997) and study it at 13.
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109
“Wrong!” exclaims Caligula delightedly. He looks thoughtfully into the middle distance. “Forced to eat yourself alive from the toes up, I think.”
After which painful experience, you can make your way to 13.
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110
The grey-haired man looks down at you and gives a quirky little smile. “Looks like you have to fight again.” He reaches into a fold of his toga and extracts a small leather purse which he tosses down to you. “Perhaps this will help.”
As you stoop to pick up the purse another gladiator lumbers over. “Looks like it’s you and me, babe,” he growls. With which he launches a blistering attack on your unprotected body.
There’s good news and bad news here and you definitely need to get the good news first. That leather purse you just picked up is full of Greek healing herbs (the Romans mostly leave medicine to the Greeks). Roll one die to find out how many doses you can squeeze out of them: each dose will restore a double dice roll of Life Points up to your natural maximum.
The bad news is that your second opponent has 50 Life Points, a +5 sword and body armour that deducts 5 from any blow you score against him. If he kills you, go to 13. If you survive rob the corpse of that useful body armour and stagger off unsteadily to 70.
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111
“Pro stercorem non tempus habeo!” your Mercurial translator shouts as you tell the louts you’ve no time for this crap. “Get out of my way or eat steel!”
Rather pleased with your turn of phrase, you hurl yourself upon the close-cropped character blocking your way.
Thus giving yourself first strike automatically. And you’ll probably need it since the goon has 50 Life Points and is carrying a +7 sword. If you survive the fight, go to 155. If not, find your way to 13.
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112
Something wrong here. According to your Brief History of Ancient Rome, this should be the Pantheon, but it doesn’t look at all like the picture in the book. That shows a circular building with a dome that was supposed to be the biggest in the ancient world. What you’re looking at now is a rectangular temple with a gabled roof supported by a colonnade.
“Excuse me,” you ask a passer-by, “but this isn’t the Pantheon, is it?”
“Certainly is,” he tells you. “Lashed up by Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa, as I recall, and as nice a little temple as you’ll find in Rome.”
You check the Guide again and find the answer to the mystery in a footnote. The Pantheon in the picture is the one rebuilt by the Emperor Hadrian! What you’re looking at now is the original - a wholly different building altogether!
Feeling rather pleased with yourself, you stride up to the imposing bronze double doors, only to find them locked.
That’s irritating, but what can you do? Except possibly return to 25 and select another destination from your map.
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113
Oops, you’ve just walked into a group of soldiers playing dice. They look up as you enter.
“Who are you?” one asks.
“What do you think you’re doing here?” asks another.
“Did anybody ask you to wander around the boss’s house?” demands a third.
“Why are you wearing funny clothes?” frowns a fourth.
“Nobody, nothing, no and they’re the only ones I’ve got,” you tell them quickly. “Well, I’ll just be going now.”
The largest of them climbs to his feet. “No you won’t,” he says. “I’m feeling bored so I think I’ll beat you to a pulp.”
There you have the mindset that created the Roman Empire. But enough of philosophy. This big clown has 60 Life Points and is so muscular that he strikes with +1 using just his bare hands. If you are using a weapon, he will pull a dagger that strikes at +3. The only good news is his three friends won’t come to his rescue even if you kill him, this being in the nature of an impromptu sporting contest. If he kills you, go to XIII. If you survive, one of the soldiers will give you some army issue salve which will restore a double dice roll of Life Points six times running before running out. With this little gift you can depart from the northern door marked X
XXXVIII or the western door marked LXXIX.
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114
“Wrong!” exclaims Caligula delightedly. He looks thoughtfully into the middle distance. “First I’ll have you skinned, then strangled, hanged, beheaded, baked, ground up then sprinkled on the sacred flame of Jupiter’s Temple, I think.”
After which painful experience, you can make your way to 13.
Please select an option from the previous page.
115
This is a temple, but it’s like no Roman temple you’ve ever seen. Above the doorway is the single word:
ISEVM
“Temple of Isis,” your Mercury Phone translates respectfully.
You step through into an interior that’s not only redolent with strange incense, but decorated throughout in Egyptian style. Beyond the altar is a larger than life-size statue of a beautiful woman wearing an ornate horned head-dress. Obviously the Romans must have taken over this Egyptian goddess the way they took over so many of the gods of Ancient Greece.
“What do those inscriptions mean?” you ask quietly as your eyes are drawn to some painted hieroglyphs.
“What am I - a tour guide?” hisses the Mercury Phone. “If you want to read hieroglyphs, go buy yourself a copy of the Egypt Quest gamebook and adventure your way through that!”
Good advice, if you haven’t tried that adventure already. But for the moment you’d better get back to 150 and select another destination.
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116
For a moment it seems you’ve stepped outside of time. The crowd freezes. All sound stops. Caligula’s eyes widen.
Then the moment passes and you can hear Caligula shouting. “That’s the creature who tried to assassinate me! Get him! Get him now!!!”
You find yourself gripped by strong hands which drag you to the edge of the Imperial Box and fling you down into the arena where you are promptly eaten by a lion.
Which, fortunately, will regurgitate you a little messily at 13.
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117
“Well done!” exclaims the young man as you emerge, having nipped round the side to avoid having to go through the maze. “This means you get to keep the amethyst and since you’ve passed your Ordeal and are now an Initiate, I have a few goodies for you.”
With which he presents you with a box containing a sheepskin apron, an embroidered sash and a bottle of some evil-smelling herbal liquid.
He glances around furtively. “Don’t mention this to anybody, but now you’re an Initiate you get to make three calls to 96 where you could be lucky enough to get help in an emergency.”
That’s good news. If and when you do decide to pay a call to 96, don’t forget to make a note of the section number you’re leaving so you can get back safely afterwards. The other good news is that foul smelling liquid is actually very good for you since a swig will restore a double dice roll of Life Points up to your natural maximum. Roll one die now and add four to discover how many swigs are in the bottle. Now put on your apron and your sash and parade secretly to 150 to select another destination.
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118
Oops, you’ve just walked into a group of soldiers playing dice. They look up as you enter.
“Who are you?” one asks.
“What do you think you’re doing here?” asks another.
“Did anybody ask you to wander around the boss’s house?” demands a third.
“Why are you wearing funny clothes?” frowns a fourth.
“Nobody, nothing, no and they’re the only ones I’ve got,” you tell them quickly. “Well, I’ll just be going now.”
The largest of them climbs to his feet. “No you won’t,” he says. “I’m feeling bored so I’m going to insist you join us in a game of dice. We’re playing Jactus.”
“I don’t know how to play Jactus,” you tell him quickly.
He grips your arm so tightly that you’d have to rip it off in order to get free. He smiles at you and breathes a cloud of garlic in your face. “Easy peasy,” he says.
“I’m sure it is, but the fact remains I’m unskilled in this game so it’s going to be no sport for you if I play, no sport at all, so why don’t you just let me -”
“Sit down!” growls the soldier.
You sit down.
“Now Jactus, as I said, is very simple,” the soldier tells you. “There are five of us, including you. My name’s Quintus, this is Sextus, that’s Septimus and the bald-headed one is Eric. Don’t tell me your name, we don’t want to know. Now, we sit round in a circle like this ...” He signals and everyone moves into place.
“Now,” says Quintus, “everybody throws one die to begin with to find out who’ll go first. Highest score wins and if there’s a draw, the people concerned throw again. Let’s do that now ...”
Throw one die for yourself, then for Quintus, Sextus, Septimus and Eric. Highest score goes first in the game. The others follow in clockwise order round the circle.
“Once we’ve settled that,” Quintus grins evilly, “the fun starts. Everybody puts one gold piece in the middle -”
“I haven’t got any gold pieces,” you tell them hurriedly, “so I’ll just leave you to your game and -”
“We’ll accept a Life Point in lieu of each gold piece you owe,” Sextus puts in.
“What??”
“I said we’ll accept one of your Life Points in lieu of your stake. For every round the game lasts, each of us puts in a gold piece, but you get one Life Point hacked out of your arm, your leg, your bum or wherever’s convenient.”
You stare at him appalled, “But what happens if the game lasts so long it kills me?”
“Then you go to XIII!” Eric says and everybody laughs.
“But it probably won’t come to that,” Septimus tells you kindly, “because you’ll probably win a bit of gold for yourself as the game goes along.”
“Unless you’re very unlucky,” grins Eric.
“Right,” Quintus puts in briskly. “Each of us takes turns to throw the dice. You throw both dice twice, then one die once - five throws in your turn altogether. The object of the game is to throw a Jactus Venerius , which is five fives. First player to throw that gets all the money in the pot and this little statuette of Venus -” He shows you a rather neat little ceramic figure. “ - which finishes the game so we can all go home.”
“And that’s it?” you ask. Jactus really is simple.
“Nearly,” Quintus tells you. “Any player who throws five ones can claim a single coin from the pot. Any player who throws five of any other number - five two, five threes, five fours, five sixes - can claim two coins from the pot provided he barks like a dog because this move is known as the Jactus Canicula, the Little Dog’s Throw. For every round of play, each of us donates one coin to the pot and you donate one Life Point. Clear?”
You nod dumbly. “Clear,” you echo grumly.
Well, this could turn into a bit of a mess and no mistake. As against that, of course, it’s a chance for you to earn a bit of gold. Play the game through, either with friends taking the parts of Quintus, Sextus, Septimus and Eric, or rolling the dice for them yourself. If the loss of Life Points kills you at any time, go to XIII. If you survive, take whatever winnings you’ve accumulated and disappear swiftly through the eastern door to LXXIX or the northern door to CXXXI.
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119
“Wrong!” exclaims Caligula delightedly. He looks thoughtfully into the middle distance. “Forced to eat yourself alive from the toes up, I think.”
After which painful experience, you can make your way to 13.
120
That’s it! That’s the name you’ve been trying to remember! Caligula!!!
“Caligula? You want me to do something about Caligula?” you gasp in astonishment. The Roman Emperors were a fairly loony bunch, but Caligula was a nutter’s nutter. He had folks killed the way some people pick their teeth. Nobody was safe. Get within sight of him and he might take a notion to feed you to the lions for no reason at all.
“He is a very evil man. Something needs to be done about him.”
“Was a very evil man,” you correct her. “He’s been dead nearly two thousand years. Nothing to do with anybody now.”